Friday, April 22, 2016

#1 - A Warm World (Diary Entry)

I have been told by the baker that writing a diary might help conserve memories, so when I forget them, I can go back and read them. Today, I will write about how my life has been;

It has been a month since I started working at the bakery. The establishment has been full of friendly people, and everyone always had a smile on their face. At first, I worked at the cash register. The baker was really impressed on how fast I could calculate the change for someone who paid in cash. I don’t know how I could process these numbers in my head so quick; I didn’t even need the help of the calculator that the baker had given me. Something about the numbers resonated in my mind, and inspired my heart. When a client would hand me a dollar, the texture of the bill would give out a burst of warmth to my spine. This job felt like something I used to do all the time. It felt so familiar, yet, I can’t remember when I learned to work a cash register. It brought me joy, but it also brought me confusion. Where did I acquire this love for a job that seemed so practical?

But that was only the beginning of these strange feelings. Several weeks later, the baker taught me how to produce several pastries. I remember when he first introduced me to his secret brownie recipe. As the brownie mix was on my hands, I felt that warm feeling again. It felt as if someone was hugging me, holding me so I would never go. Why did baking portray this warmth to me? It seems as if whenever I touch a certain object, I remember a happy moment of my past. But I could never really explain this feeling to anyone, all I could do was smile whenever I felt this, because it did bring me happiness. But I couldn’t quite remember a specific moment, it just felt like a texture of warmth.


In the middle of a white night, I awoke from another nightmare. I kept going back to that same island in my sleep, but I don’t want to write about it now. But I do want to share with you the thing that brought the most warmth to my heart at the time. I looked at the clock, and it was 2:00 am. I got out of my bed and sneaked outside the bakery. I headed for the beach, walking on the empty streets. I had escaped to this location several times already, because it brought me happiness. When I got to the beach, I sat down and looked at the sea. It was sunset, but it was also dark enough to see the stars twinkle above in the sky. I sat along in the beach, and felt the sand with my palm. It felt dry, but at the same time it was glowing with warmth. This was not like the beach in my nightmares, but this felt like a beach that made up one of my memories, somewhere in my mind. Yes, I could not get myself to remember who I was before I awoke in the bakery. But, certain fragments in this life brought back a feeling of warmth. I could feel it in the texture of the sand, the brownie mix, and the money at the cash register. I have certainly met this feeling before, in a time I can’t remember. I looked up at the skies, and breathed in the atmosphere that the infinite galaxies gave out.

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